When Your Spirit Stays High and Your Heart Is Breaking
By Temple Franklin — Mind Body Spirit Hygiene Tools
For a long time I believed those two things couldn't share a room — a breaking heart and a high spirit. I thought you had to finish one before you were allowed the other. Grieve completely, then heal. Fall apart, then rise. That is not how it went for me. Not even close.
Cried in the shower, showed up anyway
There were mornings I cried in the shower and then showed up for my life anyway. Days my heart was in pieces on the floor and still, somewhere underneath, a stubborn flicker refused to go out. For a while I thought that flicker was denial. I thought feeling any lightness meant I wasn't taking my pain seriously.
Roommates, not enemies
But here is what I learned, dear one, and it changed everything: a broken heart and a lifted spirit are not enemies. They are roommates. You can hold devastation in one hand and hope in the other, and you are not a fraud for it. You are a whole human being.
There is a name for what can grow in the rubble
There is even a name for what can grow in the rubble: post-traumatic growth. Not the lie that everything happens for a reason. Not "look on the bright side." Something far more honest — the truth that people can be remade by what broke them. Not because the breaking was good. Because they were brave enough to rebuild.
The whole bridge I have been walking
This is the whole bridge I have been walking, and the one this work is built on. I never crossed it by pretending I was fine. I crossed it by telling the truth — I am scared, I am grieving, I am angry — and then taking one more step anyway. I let my heart break AND I kept my spirit tended. One hand on my chest in the morning. One honest "this is hard" instead of "I'm fine." One small thank-you to my Divine Team when I could not find my own strength. This is mind, body, spirit hygiene — not a grand transformation, but the daily, unglamorous practice of staying with yourself through the hard thing.
I GET TO. Both. Always both.
I GET TO be heartbroken and still here. I GET TO grieve and still laugh. I GET TO carry the weight and still choose, every single day, to keep my spirit high. Both. Always both. So if your heart is breaking right now and some quiet part of you still flickers — please do not snuff it out to prove your pain is real. Your pain is real. AND so is that flicker. Let them keep each other company. You can fall apart and keep your spirit. You can grieve and still rise. You are not betraying your heartbreak by refusing to let it have the last word. Keep your spirit tended, Lovely. The flicker is not denial. It is you, still here. Welcome home. With love — Temple.
If your heart is breaking and you are still here, my book was written for you — real tools for women in the messy middle, learning to grieve fully and keep their spirit high. Real tools. Real women. In the messy middle. This is post #5 — the finale of Temple's Journey. The full arc: #1 The Only One Rowing · #2 The Losses No One Brings a Casserole For · #3 Grieving People Who Are Still Here · #4 Coming Home to Myself · #5 When Your Spirit Stays High and Your Heart Is Breaking.
More from the Blog
Coming Home to Myself
I caught my reflection one ordinary afternoon and did not recognize the woman looking back. A tender read on the slow loss of self — and the small, almost silly steps that brought her home.
Grieving People Who Are Still Here
There is a grief no one prepares you for — the grief of missing someone who is still alive. A tender read on ambiguous loss, the porch light, and grieving without going bitter.
The Losses No One Brings a Casserole For
Disenfranchised grief — the losses the world doesn't recognize. A marriage. A career. A home. The woman you used to be. A tender read on naming what was real.
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